Man: SOMEBODY ASKED ME TODAY
"PHIL, IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD
WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE?"
AND I SAID TO HIM, "PROBABLY RIGHT HERE..."
ELKO, NEVADA-- OUR NATION'S HIGH AT 79 TODAY.
OUT IN CALIFORNIA
THEY'LL HAVE WARM WEATHER TOMORROW
GANG WARS AND OVERPRICED REAL ESTATE.
UP IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST
THEY'LL HAVE SOME VERY TALL TREES.
Clear across the Rockies and the Great Plains
but look out, here comes trouble.
(blowing forcefully)
Oh, boy!
A front coming our way.
That's going to mean to us here
one of these big blue things!
This cold, frigid Arctic air--
this big mass coming out of the north.
IT WILL MEET UP WITH THIS MOISTURE FROM THE GULF
GOING TO MIX TOGETHER AT HIGH ALTITUDES
AND CAUSE SOME SNOW.
Going out on a limb now.
Not going to hit us here in Pittsburgh.
Going to push off and hit Altoona.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE FIVE DAY.
NOTHING TO BE TOO SCARED ABOUT.
BUNDLE UP WARM, OF COURSE.
BUT YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR GALOSHES AT HOME.
I WON'T BE HERE FOR THE 10:00.
TOMORROW IS GROUNDHOG DAY.
I'M GOING TO PUNXSUTAWNEY
FOR OUR COUNTRY'S
OLDEST GROUNDHOG FESTIVAL.
SO ACCORDING TO THE LEGEND
TOMORROW, FEBRUARY 2
IF THE GROUNDHOG WAKES AND SEES HIS SHADOW
WE'VE GOT SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER.
YOU MUST REALLY ENJOY IT.
THIS IS YOUR THIRD YEAR IN A ROW, ISN'T IT, PHIL?
FOUR, NAN.
FOUR.
THANKS, PHIL.
UP NEXT, ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR DIANE KINGMAN
LOOKS AT SEX AND VIOLENCE IN THE MOVIES.
STAY WITH US.
(outro music)
Man: WE'RE CLEAR.
HAVE FUN IN PUNXSUTAWNEY, PHIL.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION, HAIRDO
THERE IS A MAJOR NETWORK INTERESTED IN ME.
YEAH.
THAT WOULD BE THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK.
THANKS, LARRY.
GO WAIT IN THE VAN, WILL YOU?
THAT WAS NICE, PHIL.
"BIG TREES."
STOP, HENNY.
CAN YOU HANDLE THE 10:00?
YEAH, YEAH.
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO RUSH BACK
I CAN DO THE 5:00 TOMORROW.
OH, COME ON.
I WANT TO STAY AN EXTRA SECOND
IN PUNXSUTAWNEY?
RITA THINKS IT WOULD BE GREAT TO STAY AROUND.
GET SOME INCREDIBLE FOOTAGE
OF PEOPLE AND THE FUN.
YOU HAVEN'T WORKED
WITH HER YET, HAVE YOU?
SHE'S REALLY NICE.
I THINK SHE'S GOING TO BE
A REALLY GOOD PRODUCER.
YOU GUYS WILL HAVE FUN.
MMM-MMM. SHE'S FUN.
BUT NOT MY KIND OF FUN.
I WILL BE HERE FOR THE 5:00.
RITA.
(calypso-pop intro)
## PREDICTIONS SHOW A STEADY LOW ##
## YOU'RE FEELING JUST THE SAME ##
## BUT SEASONS COME AND SEASONS GO ##
## I'LL MAKE YOU SMILE AGAIN ##
## IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME ##
## TAKE ME BY THE HAND ##
## CAN'T YOU FEEL YOU'RE WARMING UP? ##
## YEAH, I'M YOUR WEATHERMAN. ##
CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET, LARRY?
I'M PROBABLY LEAVING PBH.
SO THIS WILL BE THELASTTIME WE DO THE GROUNDHOG TOGETHER.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE GROUNDHOG FESTIVAL?
WHEN I WORKED IN SAN DIEGO
I COVERED THE SWALLOWS RETURNING TO CAPISTRANO
SIX YEARS IN A ROW.
SOMEDAY, SOMEBODY WILL SEE ME
INTERVIEWING A GROUNDHOG
AND THINK I DON'T HAVE A FUTURE.
I THINK IT'S A NICE STORY.
HE COMES OUT.
HE LOOKS AROUND.
HE WRINKLES UP HIS LITTLE NOSE.
HE SEES HIS SHADOW, HE DOESN'T SEE HIS SHADOW.
PEOPLE LIKE IT.
YOUARENEW, AREN'T YOU?
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE LIKE BLOOD SAUSAGE TOO.
PEOPLE ARE MORONS.
NICE ATTITUDE.
LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE
DOING THAT LITTLE GROUNDHOG THING.
FOR ME, ONCE.
HE COMES OUT.
AND THERE HE LOOKS AT HIS LITTLE SHADOW.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME BLOOD SAUSAGE?
I HAVE SOME HERE...
I LIKE BLOOD SAUSAGE.
## THEY SAY IT'S GONE ##
## SAY WINTER'S DONE ##
## THAT DON'T MEAN A THING ##
## 'CAUSE I'M THE ONE ##
## THAT MOVES THE SUN ##
## FOR YOU, I'LL TURN IT INTO SPRING ##
## SO WHEN YOU'RE FEELING LONELY , TRY TO UNDERSTAND ##
## BABY, I CAN WARM YOU UP, 'CAUSE I'M YOUR WEATHERMAN ##
## JUST ASK THE WEATHERMAN ##
## 'CAUSE I'M YOUR WEATHERMAN ##
## JUST ASK THE WEATHERMAN ##
## JUST ASK THE WEATHERMAN... ##
(sighs)
RITA, I CAN'T STAY HERE.
PRIMA DONNA.
CAN IT.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I HATE THIS PLACE.
I STAYED HERE TWO YEARS AGO.
IT'S A FLEA BAG.
I'M NOT STAYING HERE.
YOU'RE NOT STAYING HERE.
I'M NOT?
NO.
LARRY'S DROPPING ME OFF.
I BOOKED YOU A NICE BED AND BREAKFAST
ON CHERRY STREET.
GREAT.
YOU KNOW, I THINK THIS IS ONE OF THE TRAITS
OF A REALLY GOOD PRODUCER.
KEEP THE TALENT HAPPY.
ANYTHING I CAN DO.
WOULD YOU HELP ME WITH MY PELVIC TILT?
WITHIN REASON.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO DINNER WITH LARRY AND ME?
NO, THANK YOU.
I'VE SEEN LARRY EAT.
YOU GET YOUR SLEEP.
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
DON'T BE LATE.
DID HE ACTUALLY CALL HIMSELF THE TALENT?
## ...then put your little hand in mine ##
## 'Cause there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb ##
## Babe... ##
## I got you, babe ##
## I got you, babe... ##
Deejay #1: Okay, campers, rise and shine!
And don't forget your booties, 'cause it's cold out there!
Deejay #2: It's cold out there every day.
You can expect hazardous travel later today
with that blizzard thing.
Oh, that blizzardthing.
Oh, well, here's the report.
The National Weather Service
is calling for a big blizzardthing.
Yes, but there's another reason
why today is especially exciting.
Especiallycold.
But the big question on everybody's lips...
Yeah, their chapped lips.
Right.
"Do you think Phil will come out and see his shadow?"
Punxsutawney Phil!
That's right, woodchuck chuckers.
Both: It's Groundhog Day!
Get up and chuck that hog out there!
(men snorting like hogs)
MORNING.
YOU OFF TO SEE THE GROUNDHOG?
YES, I AM.
YOU THINK IT WILL BE AN EARLY SPRING?
I'M PREDICTING MARCH 21.
GOOD GUESS.
I THINK THAT ACTUALLY ISTHE FIRST DAY OF SPRING.
DID YOU SLEEP WELL, MR. CONNORS?
I SLEPT ALONE, MRS. LANCASTER.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COFFEE?
IS THERE ANY POSSIBILITY
OF GETTING AN ESPRESSO OR CAPPUCCINO?
OH... I REALLY DON'T KNOW, UM...
(whispering:) HOW TO SPELL "ESPRESSO..."
THIS LOOKS FINE.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FESTIVITIES.
I'M SURE I'M GOING TO.
THERE'S TALK OF A BLIZZARD.
THAT BLIZZARD MIGHT BLOW RIGHT BY US.
ALL OF THIS MOISTURE COMING UP OUT OF THE SOUTH
WILL PROBABLY PUSH ON TO THE EAST OF US
CRYSTALIZE, AND GIVE US SOME SNOW.
PROBABLY BE SOME ACCUMULATION.
BUT HERE IN PUNXSUTAWNEY
OUR HIGH WILL GET UP TO ABOUT 30 TODAY.
TEENS TONIGHT.
CHANCE OF PRECIPITATION ABOUT 20% TODAY.
20% TOMORROW.
WERE YOU JUST MAKING CHITCHAT?
CHITCHAT.
SEE YOU LATER.
GOOD-BYE.
WILL YOU BE CHECKING OUT TODAY, MR. CONNORS?
CHANCE OF DEPARTURE TODAY, 100%.
PHIL?
HEY, PHIL?
PHIL?
PHIL CONNORS?
I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU.
HOW YOU DOING?
THANKS FOR WATCHING.
DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME
BECAUSE I SURE AS HECK-FIRE REMEMBER YOU.
NOT A CHANCE.
NED!
RYERSON!
"NEEDLENOSE" NED. NED "THE HEAD."
COME ON, BUDDY. CASE WESTERN HIGH.
I DID THE WHISTLING BELLYBUTTON TRICK
AT THE HIGH SCHOOL TALENT SHOW.
BING! NED RYERSON.
GOT THE SHINGLES REAL BAD SENIOR YEAR.
ALMOST DIDN'T GRADUATE.
BING AGAIN!
I DATED YOUR SISTER MARY PAT
TILL YOU TOLD ME NOT TO ANYMORE.
WELL?
NED RYERSON?
BING!
BING.
SO DID YOU TURN PRO
WITH THAT BELLYBUTTON THING, NED?
NO, I SELL INSURANCE.
WHAT A SHOCK.
DO YOU HAVE LIFE INSURANCE?
'CAUSE YOU COULD ALWAYS USE MORE.
AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?
NED, I WOULD LOVE TO STAND HERE AND TALK WITH YOU
BUT I'M NOT GOING TO.
SEE YOU.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I'LL WALK WITH YOU.
YOU KNOW, WHENEVER I SEE AN OPPORTUNITY NOW
I CHARGE IT LIKE A BULL.
NED "THE BULL," THAT'S ME NOW.
FRIENDS OF MINE LIVE AND DIE BY THE ACTUARIAL TABLES.
I SAY, "HEY, IT'S ALL ONE BIG CRAP SHOOT."
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SINGLE PREMIUM LIFE?
BECAUSE THAT COULD BE THE TICKET FOR YOU.
OH, GOD! IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR DINNER?
SOMETHING ELSE.
IT'S BEEN GREAT SEEING YOU, NEEDLEHEAD.
TAKE CARE.
(snickering)
WATCH OUT FOR THAT FIRST STEP.
IT'S A DOOZY.
(polka music playing)
## STRIKE UP THE MUSIC ##
## THE BAND HAS BEGUN ##
## THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA ##
## PICK OUT YOUR PARTNER ##
## AND JOIN IN THE FUN ##
## IT'S THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA ##
## IT STARTED IN SCRANTON ##
## IT'S NOW NUMBER ONE ##
## IT'S GOING TO ENTERTAIN YA... ##
Rita: HEY, PHIL!
PHIL, OVER HERE.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
IT WAS HORRIBLE.
A GIANT LEECH GOT ME.
YOU'RE MISSING ALL THE FUN.
THESE PEOPLE ARE GREAT.
SOME OF THEM HAVE BEEN PARTYING ALL NIGHT.
THEY SING TILL THEY GET COLD
THEN THEY GO SIT BY THE FIRE
THEN THEY COME BACK AND SING SOME MORE.
YEAH. THEY'RE HICKS, RITA.
SO, YOU SLEEP OKAY WITHOUT ME?
YOU TOSSED AND TURNED, DIDN'T YOU?
YOU'RE INCREDIBLE.
WHO TOLD YOU?
(crowd cheering)
OKAY. IT'S GROUNDHOG TIME.
OKAY, ON ME IN THREE.
TWO... ONE...
Once a year, the eyes of the nation
turn to this tiny hamlet in western Pennsylvania
to watch a master at work.
The master?
Punxsutawney Phil
the world's most famous weatherman, the groundhog
who, as legend has it
can predict the coming of an early spring.
So I guess the question
we have to ask ourselves today is:
Does Phil feel lucky?
Phil: IT'S THE SAME SHTICK EVERY YEAR.
THE GUY RAPS ON THE DOOR.
THEY PULL THE LITTLE RAT OUT
THEY TALK TO HIM, HE TALKS BACK.
THEN THEY TELL US WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
Rita: OH, ISN'T HE CUTE?
HEY, DO YOU LIKE YOUR GUYS WITH PROMINENT UPPER TEETH?
NO.
Man: THIS FEBRUARY 2nd
AT 7:20 AND 30 SECONDS, PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL
THE SEER OF SEERS
PROGNOSTICATOR OF PROGNOSTICATORS
EMERGED, RELUCTANTLY BUT ALERTLY
IN PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA
AND STATED IN GROUNDHOG-ESE
"I DEFINITELY SEE A SHADOW."
(moans and boos)
SORRY, FOLKS.
SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER.
(booing)
ON ME IN THREE.
TWO... ONE...
THIS IS ONE TIME WHERE TELEVISION
REALLY FAILS TO CAPTURE THE TRUE EXCITEMENT
OF A LARGE SQUIRREL PREDICTING THE WEATHER.
I, FOR ONE, AM VERY GRATEFUL TO HAVE BEEN HERE.
FROM PUNXSUTAWNEY, THIS IS PHIL CONNORS.
SO LONG.
WANT TO TRY IT AGAIN WITHOUT THE SARCASM?
WE GOT IT.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
PRIMA DONNAS.
BOY, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
I DON'T KNOW, PHIL.
PERHAPS IT'S THAT BLIZZARD WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET.
THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.
(honks horn)
HEY, HEY, NOBODY HONKS THIS HORN
BUT ME, OKAY, PAL?
NO!
(horn honking)
YOU GOT TO TAKE THIS RIG
OUT OF HERE.
HEY, COMMANDER, WHAT'S GOING ON?
WE'RE CLOSING THE ROAD.
BIG BLIZZARD MOVING IN.
WHAT BLIZZARD? IT'S A COUPLE OF FLAKES.
DON'T YOU LISTEN TO THE WEATHER?
WE GOT A MAJOR STORM.
I MAKE THE WEATHER.
ALL OF THIS MOISTURE COMING UP OUT OF THE GULF
WILL PUSH OFF TO THE EAST AND HIT ALTOONA.
PAL, YOU GOT THAT MOISTURE ON YOUR HEAD.
YOU CAN GO BACK TO PUNXSUTAWNEY
OR YOU CAN FREEZE TO DEATH.
IT'S YOUR CHOICE.
SO WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE?
(horns honking, sirens wailing)
I'M THINKING.
COME ON.
ALLTHE LONG DISTANCE LINES ARE DOWN?
WHAT ABOUT THE SATELLITE?
IS IT SNOWING IN SPACE?
DON'T YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF A LINE
THAT YOU KEEP OPEN FOR EMERGENCIES
OR FOR CELEBRITIES?
I'M BOTH. I'M A CELEBRITY IN AN EMERGENCY.
CAN YOU PATCH ME THROUGH ON THAT LINE, PLEASE?
(thud)
COULD I HAVE ONE MORE OF THESE
WITH SOME BOOZE IN IT, PLEASE?
OOH, I LIKE IT HERE.
PHIL, YOU GOING TO THE GROUNDHOG DINNER?
NO, I HAD GROUNDHOG FOR LUNCH.
WASN'T BAD. TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.
YOU TWO RUN ALONG.
WOW, LARRY, LOOKING FOXY TONIGHT, MAN.
HEY, IS YOUR TROOP GOING TO BE SELLING COOKIES
AGAIN THIS YEAR?
THAT'S SO FUNNY, PHIL.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
UH... I THINK I'M GOING TO GO BACK TO MY ROOM
AND TAKE A HOT SHOWER
AND MAYBE READHUSTLER OR SOMETHING.
SUIT YOURSELF.
(yelling)
YO, MOM, ISN'T THERE ANY HOT WATER?
OH, NO, THERE WOULDN'T BE TODAY.
OF COURSE NOT.
SILLY ME.
SWEET DREAMS.
## ...then put your little hand in mine ##
## 'Cause there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb ##
## Babe ##
## I got you, babe ##
## I got you, babe... ##
Deejay.#1: Okay, campers, rise and shine!
And don't forget your booties, 'cause it's cold out there!
Deejay #2: It's cold out there every day.
NICE GOING, BOYS.
YOU'RE PLAYING YESTERDAY'S TAPE.
Deejay #1: ...with that blizzard thing.
Oh, that blizzardthing.
Oh, well, here's the report.
The National Weather Service
is calling for a big blizzardthing.
Yes, but there's another reason
why today is especially exciting.
Especiallycold.
But the big question on everybody's lips...
CHAPPED LIPS.
...chapped lips.
Right. "Do you think Phil will come out
and see his shadow?"
Punxsutawney Phil!
That's right, woodchuck chuckers.
Both: It's Groundhog Day!
Get up and chuck that hog out there!
(men snorting like hogs)
WHAT THE HELL?
MORNING!
OFF TO SEE THE GROUNDHOG?
YEAH.
THINK IT WILL BE AN EARLY SPRING?
DIDN'T WE DO THIS YESTERDAY?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
(screams)
DON'T MESS WITH ME, PORK CHOP.
WHAT DAY IS THIS?
IT'S FEBRUARY 2, GROUNDHOG DAY.
YEAH. SORRY.
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT IT WAS YESTERDAY.
OH.
(nervous laughter)
DID YOU SLEEP WELL, MR. CONNORS?
DID I SLEEP WELL?
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COFFEE?
YES, PLEASE.
I THINK I'LL HAVE A DOUBLE.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FESTIVITIES.
THERE'S TALK OF A BLIZZARD.
DO YOU EVER HAVE DEJA VU, MRS. LANCASTER?
I DON'T THINK SO
BUT I COULD CHECK WITH THE KITCHEN.
NO, THAT'S OKAY.
THANK YOU.
WILL YOU BE CHECKING OUT TODAY, MR. CONNORS?
I'D SAY THE CHANCE OF DEPARTURE IS 80%.
75, 80...
EXCUSE ME.
WHERE'S EVERYBODY GOING?
TO GOBBLER'S KNOB.
IT'S GROUNDHOG DAY.
IT'S STILL JUST ONCE A YEAR, ISN'T IT?
HEY!
PHIL?
PHIL? HEY!
PHIL CONNORS. I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU.
MY, OH, MY, PHIL CONNORS.
NOW DON'T YOU SAY YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME
BECAUSE I SURE AS HECK-FIRE REMEMBER YOU.
WELL?
NED RYERSON?
BING! OH, FIRST SHOT, RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX.
SO, HOW'S IT GOING, OLD BUDDY?
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, NEDDY
I'M NOT FEELING REAL WELL.
IT'S FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION YOUR HEALTH.
YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT I DO NOW.
DO YOU SELL INSURANCE?
HO-HO, BING AGAIN!
YOU ARE SHARP AS A TACK TODAY.
DO YOU HAVE LIFE INSURANCE?
BECAUSE IF YOU DO
YOU COULD ALWAYS USE A LITTLE MORE.
BUT YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING?
I GOTS A FEELING...
(whistles)
YOU AIN'T GOT ANY.
AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?
I GOT TO GO.
PHIL!
(snickering)
WATCH OUT FOR THAT FIRST STEP.
IT'S A DOOZY.
(laughing)
(polka music playing)
## STRIKE UP THE MUSIC ##
## THE BAND HAS BEGUN ##
## THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA ##
## PICK OUT YOUR PARTNER ##
## AND JOIN IN THE FUN ##
## THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA ##
## IT STARTED IN SCRANTON ##
## IT'S NOW NUMBER ONE... ##
Rita: PHIL!
PHIL, OVER HERE!
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
RITA, DO ME A FAVOR?
I NEED SOMEONE TO GIVE ME
A GOOD, HARD SLAP IN THE FACE.
HOW'S THAT?
GOOD.
IF YOU NEED ANY HELP WITH THE OTHER CHEEK
I'M RIGHT HERE.
SOMETHING'S GOING ON.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
ARE YOU DRUNK?
DRUNK'S MORE FUN.
CAN I BE SERIOUS FOR A MINUTE?
I DON'T KNOW. CAN YOU?
YES, I'M BEING SERIOUS.
I'M HAVING A PROBLEM.
I MAY BE HAVING A PROBLEM.
RITA, RITA...
IT'S GROUNDHOG TIME.
SEE, I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT.
I REALLY FEEL WEIRD.
LET'S JUST DO THIS, PHIL, THEN WE'LL TALK.
ALL RIGHT. ON ME IN THREE
TWO, ONE...
Well, it's Groundhog Day... again
and that must mean
that we're up here at Gobbler's Knob
waiting for the forecast
from the world's most famous groundhog weatherman
Punxsutawney Phil, who's just about to tell us
how much more winter we can expect.
(crowd chanting:) PHIL! PHIL! PHIL!
THIS IS A RIOT.
OH, ISN'T HE CUTE?
THIS FEBRUARY 2, AT 7:20 AND 30 SECONDS
PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL, THE SEER OF SEERS
PROGNOSTICATOR OF PROGNOSTICATORS
EMERGED RELUCTANTLY...
PHIL!
BUT ALERTLY IN...
(yelling)
OH, MY GOSH!
YEAH, SPORT, I KNOW THERE'S A BLIZZARD.
WHEN ARE THE LONG DISTANCE LINES GOING TO BE REPAIRED?
WELL, WHAT IF THERE IS NO TOMORROW?
THERE WASN'T ONE TODAY.
HELLO?
(dial tone)
HELLO?!
## Then put your little hand in mine ##
## 'Cause there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb ##
## Babe ##
## I got you, babe ##
## I got you, babe... ##
MORNING!
OFF TO SEE THE GROUNDHOG?
OH, DID YOU SLEEP WELL, MISTER..?
GOD!
HEY!
PHIL?
WELL, HEY, PHIL, DON'T SAY YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME
BECAUSE I SURE AS HECK-FIRE REMEMBER YOU.
IT'S ME, NED... RYERSON.
NEEDLENOSE NED, NED "THE HEAD."
COME ON, BUDDY.
CASE WESTERN... HEY, LOOK...
## PICK OUT YOUR PARTNER AND JOIN IN THE FUN... ##
Rita: PHIL! OVER HERE!
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT A MATTER
THAT IS NOT WORK-RELATED?
YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT WORK.
WE REALLY HAVE TO TALK.
Larry: HEY...
IT'S A CREATIVE MEETING.
WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO.
I'VE ALREADY DONE IT TWICE.
WHEN YOU GET FINISHED, MEET ME IN THE DINER.
PHIL...
WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT?
I DON'T KNOW.
PRIMA DONNAS.
MORE COFFEE, HON?
JUST A CHECK, PLEASE.
THESE STICKY BUNS ARE JUST HEAVEN.
AREN'T THEY?
(loud clattering)
Gus: REAL NICE.
JUST PUT THAT ANYWHERE, PAL, YEAH.
Ralph: GOOD SAVE.
OKAY, NOW TELL ME WHY YOU'RE TOO SICK TO WORK.
RITA, I'M RELIVING THE SAME DAY OVER AND OVER.
GROUNDHOG DAY, TODAY.
OKAY, I'M WAITING FOR THE PUNCH LINE.
NO, REALLY.
THIS IS THE THIRD TIME.
IT'S LIKE YESTERDAY NEVER HAPPENED.
I CAN'T BEGIN TO IMAGINE
WHY YOU'D MAKE UP SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
I'M NOT MAKING IT UP.
I AM ASKING YOU FOR HELP.
OKAY. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU'RE A PRODUCER.
COME UP WITH SOMETHING.
YOU SHOULD GET YOUR HEAD EXAMINED
IF YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE A STUPID STORY LIKE THAT, PHIL.
PHIL? LIKE THE GROUNDHOG PHIL?
YEAH, LIKE THE GROUNDHOG PHIL.
LOOK OUT FOR YOUR SHADOW THERE, PAL.
MORONS, YOUR BUS IS LEAVING.
WE BETTER GET GOING
IF WE'RE GOING TO STAY AHEAD OF THE WEATHER.
LET'S TALK ABOUT IT BACK IN PITTSBURGH.
I'M NOT GOING BACK TO PITTSBURGH.
Rita: WHY NOT?
BECAUSE OF THE BLIZZARD.
YOU SAID THAT WAS GOING TO HIT ALTOONA.
I KNOW THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
PHIL, I THINK YOU NEED HELP.
THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING, RITA.
I NEED HELP.
WELL, NO SPOTS, CLOTS, NO TUMORS, NO LESIONS.
HMM. NO ANEURYSMS.
AT LEAST, NONE THAT I CAN SEE, MR. CONNORS.
OF COURSE, IF YOU WANT A C.A.T. SCAN OR AN M.R.I.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO INTO PITTSBURGH.
I CAN'T GO INTO PITTSBURGH.
WHY CAN'T YOU GO INTO PITTSBURGH?
I TOLD YOU. THERE'S A BLIZZARD.
OH, RIGHT. THE BLIZZARD.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MAY NEED, MR. CONNORS?
A BIOPSY?
A PSYCHIATRIST.
THAT'S AN UNUSUAL PROBLEM, MR. CONNORS.
UH, MOST OF MY WORK IS WITH COUPLES, FAMILIES.
I HAVE AN ALCOHOLIC NOW.
YOU WENT TO COLLEGE, RIGHT?
IT WASN'T VETERINARY PSYCHOLOGY, WAS IT?
DIDN'T YOU TAKE SOME KIND OF COURSE
THAT COVERED THIS STUFF?
YEAH. SORT OF. I GUESS.
UH... ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY.
SO... WHAT DO I DO?
I THINK WE SHOULD MEET AGAIN.
HOW'S TOMORROW FOR YOU?
IS THAT NOT GOOD?
I WAS IN THE VIRGIN ISLANDS ONCE.
I MET A GIRL, WE ATE LOBSTER, DRANK PINA COLADAS.
AT SUNSET, WE MADE LOVE LIKE SEA OTTERS.
THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD DAY.
WHY COULDN'T I GETTHATDAY OVER AND OVER AND OVER?
YOU KNOW, SOME GUYS WOULD LOOK AT THIS GLASS
AND SAY, "THAT GLASS IS HALF-EMPTY."
OTHER GUYS WOULD SAY
"THAT GLASS IS HALF-FULL."
I PEG YOU AS A "GLASS IS HALF-EMPTY" KIND OF GUY.
AM I RIGHT?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE STUCK IN ONE PLACE
AND EVERY DAY WAS EXACTLY THE SAME
AND NOTHING THAT YOU DID MATTERED?
THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP FOR ME.
COME ON.
I'LL DROP YOU OFF.
THIS THING STICKS A LITTLE BIT.
YOU GOT TO JIGGLE IT.
COME ON UP HERE, PAL.
COME ON, GIVE ME YOUR KEYS.
GIVE ME THE KEYS.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE, RIGHT?
TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
YOU FEEL OKAY?
REALLY?
OKAY, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
UH-OH.
WHOA!
YOU WANT TO THROW UP HERE OR IN THE CAR?
I THINK... BOTH.
COME ON.
I DON'T THINK I SHOULD BE DRIVING.
NO, NO. I DON'T, EITHER.
WATCH YOUR HEAD.
NOW, WATCH YOUR KNEES.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S NOT FORGET THE SEAT BELTS.
HEY, WHO ELSE COULD GO FOR SOME FLAPJACKS RIGHT NOW?
LET ME ASK YOU GUYS A QUESTION.
Ralph: SHOOT.
WHAT IF THERE WERE NO TOMORROW?
NO TOMORROW?
THAT WOULD MEAN THERE WOULD BE NO CONSEQUENCES.
THERE WOULD BE NO HANGOVERS.
WE COULD DO WHATEVER WE WANTED.
THAT'S TRUE.
WE COULD DO WHATEVER WE WANT.
IF WE WANTED TO HIT MAILBOXES, WE COULD LET RALPH DRIVE.
(siren wailing)
OH, HEY, HEY, PHIL.
THEY WANT YOU
TO STOP.
HANG ON.
Phil: IT'S THE SAME THING YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
"CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM.
"PICK UP YOUR FEET.
"TAKE IT LIKE A MAN.
"BE NICE TO YOUR SISTER.
DON'T MIX BEER AND WINE."
OH, YEAH.
"DON'T DRIVE ON THE RAILROAD TRACKS."
WELL, THAT'S ONE I HAPPEN TO AGREE WITH.
I DON'T KNOW, GUS.
SOMETIMES, I THINK
YOU JUST HAVE TO TAKE THE BIG CHANCES.
This is the police.
Pull over immediately.
HEY, WE'RE TALKING IN HERE.
UH, PHIL...
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I'M BETTING HE'S GOING TO SWERVE FIRST.
PHIL...
PHIL!
I'M NOT GOING TO LIVE BY THEIR RULES ANYMORE.
I NOTICED THAT.
YOU MAKE CHOICES, AND YOU LIVE WITH THEM.
UH-OH!
OH, OH, OH.
MY KNEE.
LET ME HANDLE THIS.
YEAH, THREE CHEESEBURGERS, TWO LARGE FRIES
TWO CHOCOLATE SHAKES, AND ONE LARGE COKE.
AND SOME FLAPJACKS.
TOO EARLY FOR FLAPJACKS?
## Then put your little hand in mine ##
## 'Cause there ain't no hill or mountain ##
## We can't climb... ##
YES!
OH, RISE AND SHINE, CAMPERS.
DON'T FORGET YOUR BOOTIES
'CAUSE IT'S COLD OUT THERE TODAY.
WHAT IS THIS, MIAMI BEACH?
NOT HARDLY.
OH, I....
SLEPT LIKE A BABY, THANK YOU.
I'D LOVE SOME OF YOUR COFFEE, PLEASE.
I HOPE...
FLURRIES MOVING IN A BIT LATER
BUT THE BLIZZARD'S GOING TO HIT OUTSIDE OF TOWN.
WAS ANYBODY LOOKING FOR ME?
A STATE OFFICIAL, MAYBE A BLUE HAT, GUN, NIGHTSTICK?
OH, NO. NO ONE LIKE THAT.
WILL THERE BE?
APPARENTLY NOT.
WILL YOU HOLD MY ROOM, PLEASE?
I'M GOING TO STAY AN EXTRA DAY.
CATCH YOU TOMORROW, HUH, POP.
HEY... PHIL?
PHIL?
HEY, PHIL CONNORS!
NED!
I LIKE TO SEE A MAN OF ADVANCING YEARS
THROWING CAUTION TO THE WIND.
IT'S INSPIRING, IN A WAY.
MY YEARS ARE NOT ADVANCING AS FAST AS YOU MIGHT THINK.
MORE COFFEE, HON?
YEAH, KEEP IT COMING, PLEASE.
SURE THING.
(clattering)
Gus: REAL NICE.
JUST PUT THAT ANYWHERE, PAL, YEAH.
Ralph: GOOD SAVE.
DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL
LUNG CANCER, LOVE HANDLES?
I DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE.
WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL?
EVERYBODY WORRIES.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT MAKES ME SO SPECIAL.
I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO FLOSS.
OH!
WHAT?
"THE WRETCH, CONCENTERED ALL IN SELF.
"LIVING, SHALL FORFEIT FAIR RENOWN
"AND DOUBLY DYING, SHALL GO DOWN
"TO THE VILE DUST, FROM WHENCE HE SPRUNG
UNWEPT, UNHONORED AND UNSUNG."
SIR WALTER SCOTT.
YOU DON'T LIKE POETRY?
I LOVE POETRY.
I JUST THOUGHT THAT WAS WILLARD SCOTT.
DO YOU THINK I'M ACTING LIKE THIS
BECAUSE I'M EGOCENTRIC?
I KNOW YOU'RE EGOCENTRIC.
IT'S YOUR DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC.
WE BETTER GET GOING
IF WE'RE GOING TO STAY AHEAD OF THE WEATHER.
THANKS, LARRY.
WOULD YOU LIKE A DOGGIE BAG?
NO, I'M GOING TO FINISH.
I THOUGHT YOU HATED THIS TOWN.
NO, IT'S BEGINNING TO GROW ON ME.
LARRY, QUIT STARING.
THESE ARE EXCELLENT.
BON APPETIT.
DID YOU SEE THE GROUNDHOG THIS MORNING?
UH-HUH. I NEVER MISS IT.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
NANCY TAYLOR. AND YOU ARE..?
WHAT HIGH SCHOOL DID YOU GO TO?
WHAT?
HIGH SCHOOL.
LINCOLN IN PITTSBURGH.
WHO ARE YOU?
WHO WAS YOUR 12th GRADE ENGLISH TEACHER?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
IN 12th GRADE, YOUR ENGLISH TEACHER WAS...
MRS. WALSH.
NANCY.
LINCOLN.
WALSH.
OKAY, THANKS VERY MUCH.
HEY...
HEY!
## STRIKE UP THE MUSIC ##
## THE BAND HAS BEGUN ##
## THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA ##
NANCY?
NANCY TAYLOR?
LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL.
I SAT NEXT TO YOU IN MRS. WALSH'S ENGLISH CLASS.
OH. I'M SORRY...
PHIL CONNORS.
WOW, THAT'S AMAZING.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME, DO YOU?
UM...
I EVEN ASKED YOU TO THE PROM.
PHIL CONNORS?
I WAS SHORT, AND I'VE SPROUTED.
YEAH...
GOSH, HOW ARE YOU?
GREAT.
YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
YOU LOOK VERY, VERY TERRIFIC.
LISTEN, I GOT TO GO DO THIS REPORT.
ARE YOU A REPORTER?
I'M A WEATHERMAN WITH CHANNEL 9 PITTSBURGH.
WOW!
GOSH, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
THAT'S GREAT.
MAYBE LATER WE COULD...
YEAH, WHATEVER.
STAY RIGHT HERE.
YOU PROMISE ME?
YES.
I'LL BE BACK.
WISH ME LUCK.
GOOD LUCK!
OH, PHIL!
OH, RITA.
WHO'S RITA?
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF ONE-NIGHT STAND?
ON THE CONTRARY, NANCY.
I LOVE YOU.
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU.
THIS IS GOING TO SEEM SUDDEN, BUT...
NANCY, WILL YOU BE MY WIFE?
OH, PHIL.
RITA...
NANCY.
WHATEVER.
A GUST OF WIND.
A DOG BARKS.
(dog barking)
CUE THE TRUCK.
EXIT HERMAN.
WALK INTO THE BANK.
EXIT FELIX AND STAND THERE
WITH A NOT-SO-BRIGHT LOOK ON YOUR FACE.
ALL RIGHT, DORIS.
COME ON.
FIX YOUR BRA, HONEY.
THAT'S BETTER.
"FELIX."
"HOW YOU DOING, DORIS?"
"CAN I HAVE A ROLL OF QUARTERS?"
TEN...
NINE...
EIGHT...
CAR...
SIX...
FIVE...
QUARTERS...
THREE...
TWO...
FELIX, DID I BRING OUT TWO BAGS OR ONE?
I DON'T KNOW.
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO A COSTUME PARTY.
IT'S LIKE I SAID.
I LOVE THIS FILM.
I'VE SEEN IT OVER A HUNDRED TIMES.
PHIL!
I TOLD YOU. CALL ME "BRONCO."
SORRY, BRONCO.
HIYA, NANCY.
MY OWN FIANCEE
DOESN'T REMEMBER ME.
HI.
THAT'LL BE ONE ADULT AND, UH....
TWO ADULTS.
TWO ADULTS, I GUESS.
...groundhog, who, as legend has it
can predict the coming of an early spring.
So guess the question we have to ask ourselves today is:
Does Phil feel lucky?
RITA, IF YOU ONLY HAD ONE DAY TO LIVE
WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH IT?
I DON'T KNOW, PHIL.
WHAT ARE YOU DYING OF?
NO...
I MEAN, THE WHOLE WORLD IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
I'D JUST WANT TO KNOW WHERE TO PUT THE CAMERA.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR, A DATE FOR THE WEEKEND?
NO, I'M JUST INTERESTED IN YOU.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
WHAT DO YOU LIKE?
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT?
WHAT KIND OF MEN ARE YOU INTERESTED IN?
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN?
IS THIS FOR REAL
OR ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL?
I'M TRYING TO TALK LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE.
ISN'T THIS HOW THEY TALK?
CLOSE.
SO TALK TO ME.
LET ME BUY YOU A CUP OF COFFEE...
AND A DOUGHNUT.
ALL RIGHT.
Phil: SO WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE, ANYWAY?
I GUESS I WANT WHAT EVERYBODY WANTS.
YOU KNOW, CAREER, LOVE, MARRIAGE, CHILDREN.
ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE?
THIS IS GETTING TOO PERSONAL.
I DON'T THINK I'M READY TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
WHAT I REALLY WANT IS SOMEONE LIKE YOU.
OH, PLEASE.
WELL, WHY NOT?
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
WHO IS YOUR PERFECT GUY?
WELL, FIRST OF ALL
HE'S TOO HUMBLE TO KNOW HE'S PERFECT.
THAT'S ME.
HE'S INTELLIGENT, SUPPORTIVE
FUNNY.
INTELLIGENT, SUPPORTIVE, FUNNY...
ME, ME, ME.
HE'S ROMANTIC AND COURAGEOUS.
ME, ALSO.
A GOOD BODY
BUT HE DOESN'T LOOK IN THE MIRROR EVERY TWO MINUTES.
I HAVE A GREAT BODY
AND SOMETIMES, I GO MONTHS WITHOUT LOOKING.
HE'S KIND, SENSITIVE, AND GENTLE.
HE'S NOT AFRAID TO CRY IN FRONT OF ME.
THIS IS A MAN WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT?
HE LIKES ANIMALS AND CHILDREN
AND HE'LL CHANGE POOPY DIAPERS.
DOES HE HAVE TO USE THE WORD "POOPY"?
OH, AND HE PLAYS AN INSTRUMENT
AND HE LOVES HIS MOTHER.
I AM REALLY CLOSE ON THIS ONE.
REALLY, REALLY CLOSE.
IT'S PHIL CONNORS.
HELLO.
THANKS FOR WATCHING.
SO WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF GETTING OUT TODAY?
VAN STILL WON'T START.
LARRY'S WORKING ON IT.
WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT.
CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?
OKAY.
JIM BEAM, ICE, WATER.
FOR YOU, MISS?
SWEET VERMOUTH ON THE ROCKS WITH A TWIST, PLEASE.
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF GETTING OUT OF TOWN TODAY?
THE VAN STILL WON'T START.
LARRY'S WORKING ON IT.
WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT.
CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?
OKAY.
SWEET VERMOUTH, ROCKS, WITH A TWIST, PLEASE.
FOR YOU, MISS?
THE SAME.
THAT'S MY FAVORITE DRINK.
MINE TOO.
IT ALWAYS MAKES ME THINK OF ROME...
THE WAY THE SUN HITS THE BUILDINGS IN THE AFTERNOON.
OH.
WHAT SHOULD WE DRINK TO?
TO THE GROUNDHOG.
I ALWAYS DRINK TO WORLD PEACE.
CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?
OKAY.
SWEET VERMOUTH, ROCKS, WITH A TWIST, PLEASE.
FOR YOU, MISS?
THE SAME.
THAT'S MY FAVORITE DRINK.
MINE TOO.
IT ALWAYS MAKES ME THINK OF ROME...
THE WAY THE SUN HITS THE BUILDINGS IN THE AFTERNOON.
WHAT SHOULD WE DRINK TO?
I LIKE TO SAY A PRAYER AND DRINK TO WORLD PEACE.
TO WORLD PEACE.
WORLD PEACE.
AMEN.
THIS IS WONDERFUL.
SEE, DIDN'T I TELL YOU?
HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT PUNXSUTAWNEY?
I'VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME HERE.
SMALL-TOWN PEOPLE ARE MORE REAL, MORE DOWN TO EARTH.
THAT'S HOW I FEEL.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY SOME WHITE CHOCOLATE?
YUCK, DON'T MAKE ME SICK.
NO WHITE CHOCOLATE.
THERE IS SOMETHING SO FAMILIAR ABOUT THIS.
DO YOU EVER HAVE DEJA VU?
DIDN'T YOU JUST ASK ME THAT?
I THINK PEOPLE PLACE TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON THEIR CAREERS.
I WISH WE COULD ALL LIVE IN THE MOUNTAINS
AT HIGH ALTITUDE.
THAT'S WHERE I SEE MYSELF IN FIVE YEARS.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
OH, I AGREE.
I JUST LIKE TO GO WITH THE FLOW.
SEE WHERE IT LEADS ME.
WELL, IT'S LED YOU HERE.
MM-HMM.
OF COURSE, IT'S ABOUT A MILLION MILES
FROM WHERE I STARTED OUT IN COLLEGE.
YOU WEREN'T IN BROADCASTING AND JOURNALISM?
HMM-MM.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT
I STUDIED 19th-CENTURY FRENCH POETRY.
WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.
I MEAN, FOR SOMEONE ELSE
THAT WOULD BE AN INCREDIBLE WASTE OF TIME.
IT WAS SO BOLD OF YOU TO CHOOSE THAT.
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
YOU MUST BE A VERY STRONG PERSON.
I THINK PEOPLE PLACE TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON THEIR CAREERS.
GOSH, I WISH WE COULD ALL LIVE IN THE MOUNTAINS
AT HIGH ALTITUDES.
THAT'S WHERE I SEE MYSELF IN FIVE YEARS.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
OH, I AGREE.
I JUST LIKE TO GO WITH THE FLOW.
SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
WELL, IT'S GOTTEN YOU HERE.
UH-HUH.
OF COURSE, IT'S A MILLION MILES
FROM WHERE I STARTED OUT IN COLLEGE.
YOU WEREN'T IN BROADCASTING OR JOURNALISM?
UH-UH.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT
I STUDIED 19th-CENTURY FRENCH POETRY.
LA FILLE QUI J'AIMERAIS
SERA COMME MON FRERE
(speaking French)
UN PEU, CHAQUE MATIN.
YOU SPEAK FRENCH.
OUI.
CATCH UP.
I HAVEN'T DONE THIS SINCE I WAS A KID.
ME NEITHER.
IT'S FUN.
IT'S GOOD, CLEAN FUN.
I HOPE THAT, ONE DAY
I CAN DO THIS WITH MY OWN CHILDREN.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?
WELL, I WENT OVER TO THE SNOWMAN SHOP.
HEY, AN ASSASSIN.
I'LL PROTECT YOU, YOUR MAJESTY.
I SHALL DIE FOR YOU.
YOU SHALL NOT TAKE HER.
FIND COVER, MY LADY.
Boy: HEY, NICE ARM.
I'M GETTING SOME GOOD ONES.
HEY, THERE'S A BOY.
THAT'S A BOY.
GOOD TRY, SON.
HELP ME.
## YOU GIVE YOUR HAND TO ME ##
## AND THEN YOU SAY HELLO ##
## AND I CAN HARDLY SPEAK ##
## MY HEART IS BEATING SO ##
## AND ANYONE CAN TELL ##
## YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME WELL ##
## BUT YOU DON'T KNOW ME ##
## NO, YOU DON'T KNOW ME ##
## NO, YOU DON'T KNOW THE ONE ##
## WHO DREAMS OF YOU AT NIGHT ##
## AND LONGS TO KISS YOUR LIPS ##
## AND LONGS TO HOLD YOU TIGHT ##
## OH, I'M JUST A FRIEND ##
## THAT'S ALL I'VE EVER BEEN ##
## 'CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW ME. ##
OH.
WHAT?
I'M JUST AMAZED
AND I'M NOT EASILY AMAZED.
ABOUT WHAT?
HOW YOU CAN START A DAY WITH ONE KIND OF EXPECTATION
AND END UP SO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
WELL, DO YOU LIKE THE WAY THIS DAY IS TURNING OUT?
I LIKE IT VERY MUCH.
IT'S A PERFECT DAY.
YOU COULDN'T HAVE PLANNED A DAY LIKE THIS.
WELL, YOU CAN.
IT JUST TAKES AN AWFUL LOT OF WORK.
COME ON IN.
I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
I DON'T THINK I SHOULD.
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD, EITHER.
I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU THIS ONE THING
AND KICK YOU RIGHT OUT.